But I’m not dealing with my body issues and I don’t know how…

it’s  true it really is, and I never thought I would be this ‘type of person’

So my daughters asleep so I’ve been having a little worry to myself as usual.

I’ve never cared about the size or shape of my body… well I’ve never been fully happy I have small boobs which I’ve always hated but I’ve never been worried about my over all body size. I’m writing this as I’m eating a pot noodle so am I helping myself? No but do I just want to eat something that I actually want to eat? Yes. I’ve always been a size 6/8 even when I was pregnant up until my last month or so I could still fit into my size 8 Zara jeans but now… what can I say this certainly isn’t the case. Starting from around 7st before I was pregnant it seems small but I had a healthy BMI, my doctor was never worried about my weight but I know I was tiny. I use to eat what I wanted when I wanted now I could breath in the smell of someone’s cottage pie from across the room and put on a stone.

Healthy eating I don’t mind, I don’t at all! I’ve stopped eating shite (bar this pot noodle) yet I’m still gaining weight and not loosing it. I know this seems like a big complain and a big moan and I guess I could do more as you’re all probably thinking but I’m just struggling mentally. It’s ruining me how quickly I’ve gained so much weight, and it’s tearing me down. I don’t go out anymore, I avoid seeing people. If I do get invited out anywhere relitavly ‘posh’ I have nothing that goes even over my thighs anymore. Every inch of my body is full of stretch marks, I mean I think they’re beautiful but I’d rather they weren’t on every single part of my body due to gaining so much weight so quickly.

Like where did I go wrong? It makes no sense to me. We’ve booked a holiday for my boyfriends birthday and I can think of nothing worse right now regards to what clothes to wear and how little I’ll need to wear.

I need to snap out of it! Tea will be something healthy and good for me! I’ll keep trying my best, trying and trying again however much I feel defeated.

C x

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My first blog post

Welcome! Cheers to my very first blog post (I’d chin a glass of wine but it’s not socially acceptable at 1 pm).

So I thought I’d start off by introducing myself, I’m a 21 year old mum from the north west of England who doesn’t get enough human interaction. In all seriousness that’s true I don’t, but I’m blessed for the moment to be able to spend my days with my daughter until I have to eventually go back to work.

So i guess these are going to be the ramblings of a young mum just doing bits, getting by and trying to find my place in this crazy world. I hope you all enjoy my place of rantings and doccumentations the same way I’m going to enjoying writing them.

C. x   IMG_5850